Domestic abuse

What is domestic abuse?

Domestic abuse or violence can happen to anyone regardless of age, background, ethnicity, disability, sexuality or gender. Domestic abuse can be carried out by family members including older children. People who carry out domestic violence are trying to control the person being abused.

Domestic abuse is common and happens more often to women. In Wakefield over 30 percent of women will experience domestic abuse at some time in their lives. Domestic abuse can also happen to men.

Am I being abused?

Sometimes it can be difficult to work out if you are suffering abuse. It may help to talk to someone you trust, like your doctor, health visitor or someone from an organisation that can help. Different forms of abuse are listed below:

Physical abuse

You may be aware that being punched, slapped, shoved, choked, drowned or kicked are physical assaults. However, physical abuse can also include being restrained or held down, being locked in the house against your will or being physically punished. This could mean being forced to stand in a corner for hours or being made to re-do household chores again and again. Abusive people may also show physical control by smashing up the house or hurting family pets.

Emotional abuse

If someone is calling you names or always criticising you to make you feel bad about yourself, this is emotional abuse. This can make you feel worthless and unsure about what is going on. Abusers can change their behaviour very quickly to put you off guard. You may feel that you can never do anything right, or that you are unable to make any of your own decisions.

Control and isolation

Domestic abuse can take many forms but control is the main issue. Do you have control over your life, health and wellbeing? Do you feel as though someone else controls you? If someone is controlling you you may not make many decisions for yourself such as what you wear, what you eat, when you wash, who you see or where you go. Abusers may try and keep you away from your friends and family. This is a form of control and is abusive.

Sexual abuse

This includes rapes, sexual humiliation or degrading treatment. An abuser may put pressure on you to have sex when you don't want to, or make you do things you are not comfortable with. Sexual abuse also includes being forced to watch sexual acts, or behave in a way which you don't wish to. If anything makes you feel uncomfortable and is done against your wishes and without your consent, it is abusive behaviour.

Financial abuse

This can take a number of forms. An abuser may control all of your money, including any that you earn or claim in your own right. You may be forced to beg for money to feed yourself and any children living with you. An abuser might give you an allowance and demand to know where every penny has been spent. Abusers can also use debt to control you - forcing you to take out loans or credit that is in your name. You may be prevented from paying bills, saving money or having a bank account.